No answers
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By Marie-Claire Andrews in People Published: Friday, 22 August 08 - 12:13 PM (GMT +12:00) Last Updated: Friday, 22 August 08 - 12:29 PM (GMT +12:00) |
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My boss at my last permanent employment (Positively Wellington Business) committed suicide last week. He was suffering from a serious illness. Depression.
It is unbelievably tragic. Even more so for his wife and children. There's so much that I could write about here, about the sadness and the futility and that even now we still seem to consider depression as a strange affliction rather than an illness like cancer that has a course of treatments and can be talked about openly. But I want to share my anger with the church. Well, why not...
At Phil's funeral (which was witty, intelligent and a little irreverent just like Phil), the Reverend stood up at the end and said:
"Phil's wife asked me yesterday to make sense of it all. Well I can't. There is no sense to be made of this. We just have to get through it one day at a time".
I'm sorry? What? I know I don't have much faith (and even less now) but frankly if the insitution of the church can give us one thing, its comfort when people die. Their ceremonies and systems can give some sort of meaning to the big issues we have to deal with. That's why most of us go to funerals, as a formal ceremony to guide the grieving process.
Whilst I can't stand the platitude: 'its Gods will', at least that's some kind of an answer, a way to make sense. Even 'he's gone to a better place'. Something, rather than that pathetic cop out. If she was unhappy about the fact he had committed suicide and felt that it was some slight on God, she should not have taken the service. If that wasn't the reason for the lack of comforting words there's no excuse. I was appalled and have written to the reverend.
Probably one of those letters I should have re-read before sending. Ah well.
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