Changing the world one man at a time
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Tuesday, 30 September 08 - 12:56 PM (GMT +12:00) By Marie-Claire Andrews in People |
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My partner returned on Sunday after a weekend away with the boys. Not any old weekend away though, this was a New Warrior Training Adventure and man, it's pretty cool living with a New Warrior! I am amazed at how much it's affected him, in a positive, glowing, shiny eyed, uplifted, energised, connected, authentic, fantastic way! He hasn't told me much about it, they're not supposed to - and I get that as words take away the magic - but from the little I've gleaned, its affected him profoundly.
The adventure is run by the Mankind Project, which is a not for profit community of men from all backgrounds that support each other to live fulfilling lives. Like I say, when you try to put it in words it sounds a bit simple, wierd almost. What's wierd though about connecting with other men, finding great mates, getting outside your comfort zone and sorting our your mission in life. I mean, wouldn't you want to get all that sorted in one weekend!
Before he went, we tried to research the weekend more, and discovered what we should have known already - that you find what you're looking for on the internet - so found stuff that made him nervous about going. Turns out it was all crap, and that it's the kind of experience you can only appreciate by doing, not by reading.
Interestingly at the graduation last night, there were lots of women there who said that it was through them that their men got to know about MKP. It doesn't seem to come so well from a bloke to another bloke ('hey, what you saying, there's something wrong with me?!") so here's a call to action, ladies, have a read through the website - talk with me - and let's get more New Warriors out there in the world.
Leadership is not Doing Everything For Everyone
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Thursday, 18 September 08 - 08:26 AM (GMT +12:00) By Marie-Claire Andrews in People |
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I love Wednesdays, they start with a 'business development breakfast' with Frances, where we put the world to rights and then, for the last five mins, sort out the projects we're working on and talk tactics for getting more. I also work out of a client's office on Mondays and Tuesdays so I belong to them, Wednesday's herald the start of 'my' week.
Unfortunately yesterday wasn't such a good Wednesday. Too many little commitments getting in the way of the big thinking required. Too many people ringing me for little things they could have sorted themselves. Too many emails checking to see if its OK to do this, or that. It made me feel exhausted, unable to focus on anything at all, and sapped my oomph. Not good.
I worked out that its partly because as General Catalyst To Get Shit Done, i tend to wade in and Get Shit Done more than remembering to be a Catalyst. I do, rather than lead. And that creates relationships where I'm depended on, and relied on for answers, where people don't feel able to Get Their Own Shit Done without calling me. It's not flattering, its exhausting and not good for either party.
So I'm re-reading my leadership books, spending more time with some leaders whose style I admire, and trying to put the balance back into those relationships. Leadership is not about doing stuff, its about creating an environment where lots of stuff gets done by happy people who are also leaders. Please yell at me (gently) if I wade in too much in the coming weeks, this is a whole new muscle I'm exercising!
No answers
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Friday, 22 August 08 - 12:13 PM (GMT +12:00) By Marie-Claire Andrews in People |
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My boss at my last permanent employment (Positively Wellington Business) committed suicide last week. He was suffering from a serious illness. Depression.
It is unbelievably tragic. Even more so for his wife and children. There's so much that I could write about here, about the sadness and the futility and that even now we still seem to consider depression as a strange affliction rather than an illness like cancer that has a course of treatments and can be talked about openly. But I want to share my anger with the church. Well, why not...
At Phil's funeral (which was witty, intelligent and a little irreverent just like Phil), the Reverend stood up at the end and said:
"Phil's wife asked me yesterday to make sense of it all. Well I can't. There is no sense to be made of this. We just have to get through it one day at a time".
I'm sorry? What? I know I don't have much faith (and even less now) but frankly if the insitution of the church can give us one thing, its comfort when people die. Their ceremonies and systems can give some sort of meaning to the big issues we have to deal with. That's why most of us go to funerals, as a formal ceremony to guide the grieving process.
Whilst I can't stand the platitude: 'its Gods will', at least that's some kind of an answer, a way to make sense. Even 'he's gone to a better place'. Something, rather than that pathetic cop out. If she was unhappy about the fact he had committed suicide and felt that it was some slight on God, she should not have taken the service. If that wasn't the reason for the lack of comforting words there's no excuse. I was appalled and have written to the reverend.
Probably one of those letters I should have re-read before sending. Ah well.
Empires
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Tuesday, 19 August 08 - 08:41 AM (GMT +12:00) By Marie-Claire Andrews in People |
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Being in Italy for three weeks made me think about empires. The amazing rise (and fall) of families and communities that have had a huge impact on our lives.
I think this is the way to live. Look after your family. Check out what the Bush family does (shocking example, but you can't deny its working). Wade in and fight for them, find them jobs, take them in when they need you, have babies and pass it on. Nepotism is just a word people use who aren't in your family...!
It drives me completlely bonkers when I hear Lee's family talk about the custody difficulties their other son is having, and say 'ah well we're not getting involved'. WHAT??? they should be in all guns blazing on his behalf.
Now this is a bit of a blow for me who was quite happy not having babies thank you very much and also who lives a bloody long way from her family.
But family is not just flesh and blood. Your friends are your empire and your community can be too. Look after them, find them work, put them top of your list, and grow an empire.
I look at the richest people I know and they all have empires behind them and around them. Their family business has supported them, their father's successes have given them leverage to have successes of their own. That's fine with me. Use it, encourage it.
Charitable organisations will probably lambast me for this post. But looking after your own first, making that base strong, having succession plans in place is how you build power and success. And I make no bones about wanting both those things.
Handover
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Tuesday, 19 August 08 - 08:37 AM (GMT +12:00) By Marie-Claire Andrews in People |
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Ah well its been a while - been in Italy and England reminding ourselves why we live here 
While we were away, we got the news about Hanover finance. Unfortunately we've got money in there - put in before the hoo-haa with finance companies and due to pop out into our hands in about a month. Well, not now of course. Hey ho - had a net worth, lost a net worth..
Such an easy solution though. Directors are worth well over the $500mill their company owes. Take it all off them and give it to the people they owe. Two people reduced to square one instead of thousands. And if they've made that kind of money before they can make it again. Naive? never ;-)
Either that or maybe the government could wade in and support those people who VOLUNTARILY saved some money and didn't need to be bribed with tax credits and free lump sums.
OK now this is getting silly
Being reliable
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Friday, 20 June 08 - 09:34 AM (GMT +12:00) By Marie-Claire Andrews in People |
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I talk about the art of networking quite a bit on here because its something I love to do, and without blowing ye olde trumpete too hard, am fairly darn good at it. Recently I've noticed that, getting busier and busier, I've had to stay focussed on avoiding what can bring a networker crashing down: unreliability.
Something I was told very early on was that a great networker needs to be reliable. Your network needs to know you're around, accessible and that you deliver. This is because they rely on you to connect them to the right people at the right time, and if you're not visible and actively out and about, that's pretty hard to do.
Reliability means: turning up for appointments when you say you will. God I hate it when people are 45 minutes late, actually even 10 minutes late - without a good reason it just says 'you're not worth it'.
Reliability means: a consistent presence. Find a couple of events, meetings, committees, groups, clubs that you can go to regularly and regularly go. Easy eh.
Reliability means: delivering on your promises. Which means of course don't over promise - especially if you're a bit of a head girl like me: "Oh, is no-one volunteering? Guess I'll do it then, no worries" or if you have control freak syndrome (hey that's not me honest): "It won't get done unless I do it". A long list of promises means a long time getting them done. Make sure you can do it or your reputation for being a great networker will be eroded as your reputation for being flaky takes over.
Hmm, seems like the next post needs to be on the art of saying no. Better practice 
Why haven't people got it yet?
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Wednesday, 28 May 08 - 04:00 PM (GMT +12:00) By Marie-Claire Andrews in People |
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Just come back from the gym (great class, great instructors, great music, bloody awful shower gel smells like hair remover.....) So mostly good...
..What absolutely appalled me though was the number of women in the changing rooms with bags full of animal tested products. Dove, Nivea, Sunsilk, Lancome, Maybelline, Garnier etc etc - are there still that many people in this day and age who can live with testing cosmetic products on animals? And just blindly buy their favourite brand that will make them gorgeous just like that model on TV without thinking about the cruelty? I just can't believe it. I thought that the cosmetic testing argument had been held, and won years ago. It's not a price issue either, the cheapest and nicest shampoo in Pak n Save is also not tested on animals. It's the only one though.
Come on fellow females sort it out. There's no excuse.
PS I'd be delighted if someone points out that the ones I've listed above are actually cruelty free. They're not on the BUAV list though.
The Big Three-Oh
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Friday, 01 February 08 - 12:56 PM (GMT +12:00) By Marie-Claire Andrews in People |
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Today's my thirtieth birthday. I told someone yesterday and they say 'wow I thought you were at least 30 already'. I broke their nose. Well I wanted to! They backpedalled and blithered about the fact I'd done lots of interesting stuff etc etc but the damage was done!!!
But it's been an awesome decade for me - I didn't think I'd be this version of me, looking forward from my twentieth birthday. Since then I've emigrated, had two properties, four boats, a plane, seven cars, one cat, nine jobs, three holidays (hmmm that's not many, but to be honest I feel like I'm on holiday living in this country anyway), gained 25 kilos, lost 25 kilos, lost my temper twice and kept the same man.
Not bad going.
In the next ten years I'd like to be financially free, have spent time in the Islands doing some community and economic development work, keep the friends I have now, and the man too. And keep the 25 kilos off :-)
Easy.
This from Stuff:
TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 1)
Your bold deeds make this a year of accomplishment. Next month brings a storm of career activity, and you weather it, coming out on top with more money greater freedom too. A lucky meeting in June makes you strive for new goals. Love and travel opens worlds up to you in the summer. Aries and Taurus adore you. Your lucky numbers are 26, 11, 18, 44 and 16.
And this from The Herald
YOUR BIRTHDAY
A narrower focus saves you from scattering precious energy. Seek quality not quantity in your relationships and enterprises, keeping in mind that 2008 is a year when haste leads to waste. Invest time wisely.
I think the Stuff one is truer. Aries' and Taurus' make yourselves known 
Do small steps make a big difference?
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Monday, 21 January 08 - 12:04 PM (GMT +12:00) By Marie-Claire Andrews in People |
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This has been a heck of a week (more on that in future posts) - quite stressful and requiring me to take a long hard look at what I want to do, who I want to do it with and where. I've been privileged to have conversations over coffee, breakfast and hot chocolate with some inspiring people who've helped a great deal with defining my goals - and therefore helping me get some kind of idea on how to get there.
What I've learned from this - and had a long debate with Lee on - is that I think human beings are born to be conflicted. We're doomed to be depressed because we can't fathom the connection between the day to day stuff and making a difference to the big picture. If I believe in emerging communities being empowered to have a voice on the world stage, how does me taking this next contract achieve that? It might upskill me, but how about the economic and political forces at work that those countries have to contend with? Will my being skilled make any difference? If we want to make the world a less polluted place, will my separating wine and ketchup bottles actually make a difference, when my next door neighbour throws it all in the tip? How do you find the energy and commitment to the small steps when they are so far removed from the goal, and so many other people can influence its achievement. But I guess just because the connection between today and next year/year after/year after is tenuous, that doesn't authorise you to NOT take those small steps.
Well that was more depressing than I'd anticipated!
Overachievers read this
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Tuesday, 08 January 08 - 07:34 AM (GMT +12:00) By Marie-Claire Andrews in People |
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If you want to be successful in business you'll need tenacity, drive and confidence. Most of the successful entrepreneurs and business owners I know have those in spades, as well as a myriad of other characteristics that set them apart.
Some of those characteristics are not always attractive though, especially to those 'lower mortals' that you need to have following you, if you're a leader (not much point being a leader if you've annoyed all your followers and they've run off to make their own way).
Marshall Goldsmith has an excellent list of the 20 habits often found in successful people - that can hold them back. Reading through I suffer from quite a few - do you?
1. Winning too much: the need to win at all costs and in all situations – when it matters, when it doesn’t, and when it’s totally beside the point.
2. Adding value: the overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
3. Passing judgment: the need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
4. Making destructive comments: the needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
5. Starting with “No,” “But,” or “However”: the overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, “I’m right. You’re wrong.”
6. Telling the world how smart you are: the need to show people we’re smarter than they think we are.
7. Speaking when angry: using emotional volatility as a management tool.
8. Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”: the need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren’t asked.
9. Withholding information: the refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
10. Failing to give proper recognition: the inability to praise and reward.
11. Claiming credit that we don’t deserve: the most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12. Making excuses: the need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
13. Clinging to the past: the need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
14. Playing favorites: failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
15. Refusing to express regret: the inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.
16. Not listening: the most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude: the most basic form of bad manners.
18. Punishing the messenger: the misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
19. Passing the buck: the need to blame everyone but ourselves.
20. An excessive need to be “me”: exalting our faults as virtues simply because they’re who we are.
Source: ©2007 by Marshall Goldsmith, with Mark Reiter, “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”, pp. 40-41 Hyperion Books. Available from Amazon.com.
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